hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
is wine microwaveable?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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