Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
