i just wanna soil my oats bro
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
