its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
