I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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