Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
3 2 1 whiskey
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
