Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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