i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
