Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
