so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
