I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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