Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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