Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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