This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
