I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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