My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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