If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
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Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She swung at the pinata with crutches
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I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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