Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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