If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
