this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
