I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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