You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
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We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
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We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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