My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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