Jerry, you need to find god
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
