He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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