So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
