I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
