I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
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Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
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