I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
we made out on top of his cat.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
