End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
