fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
