I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
