i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
