i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
