can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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