You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
