it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
