If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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