is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
