i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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