So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
