If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
