JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
