a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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