Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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