Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
