I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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