I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
