Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Who did Billy Mays play for?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
