Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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