plz talk dirty to me
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
