she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
