Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
