oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you win again, gameday.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
