We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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