the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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