Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
