I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
