Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
