id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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