I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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