I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
