Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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